Things Money Can’t Buy
Apparently, they won’t sell you the Eiffel Tower,
no matter how much you need it.
It is not easy to steal it either.
I am not saying it is impossible.
Like any other skill, theft needs to be practiced.
A man, for instance, stole a mailbox once.
He said he wanted it to be his.
And it was.
It is as simple as that.
This is easier for animals.
A stray dog once usurped a bed,
kicking the humans who had slept there out.
Should you fail with mailboxes or beds,
you could always steal some detective novels from a library.
Those librarians are very nice.
They will be easy prey.
If you can’t have the Eiffel Tower,
detective novels are the next best thing,
much better than mailboxes or beds.
People want different things.
I, for one, want to write a poem right now.
I would be willing to steal a mailbox for that,
or to kick a sweet old couple out of their bed.
Now, detective novels are easy.
I am not saying I’ve done it.
I will admit nothing at this point.
I am like that cartoonist who is resisting the urge to draw himself
whenever he runs out of ideas.
I am resisting the urge to talk about my inability to write,
or about the appallingly low quality of my previous work.
You will never hear me talk about those things.
I am just sorry you can’t get that Eiffel Tower.
You deserve it. Pity it’s not for sale.
The resource used for this poem is here
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