Our challenge today was "to write a poem that begins with a line from a another poem (not necessarily the first one), but then goes elsewhere with it." Here are my two attempts (I have linked the two first lines to the pages where the original poems can be found):
The Mountain Is Alive
My ancestors, meanwhile, are eating cabbage. High above them, the mountain is alive. My ancestors scrape the last remains of the soup from the bottom of the pot, then they wash their hands in the river, which has turned red by now. They curl up and fall asleep immediately, so they don't see the bloody sky that has ripened above their heads.
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The Forgotten Song
It was a good one, about a mountain.
I search for the notebook I keep by my bed,
but there's nothing inside.
Funny, because I can remember
how I got up in the middle of the night
and wrote it down, word for word.
My notebook is empty, the song is gone.
I remember the chorus,
which now makes no sense.
which now makes no sense.
My bed is warm and I am still drowsy.
I think I’ll grab a few more hours of sleep.
GloPoWriMo Day 25
These two poems juxtapose nice against each other, the mountain alive and the writer choosing sleep.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Bennie. I love "the mountain alive" from your comment, so I am going to change "awake" into "alive". Also the second poem is going to be about a "mountain" instead of a "dragon". That way they will really juxtapose. You have helped me a lot, I am still struggling with these two. I think they have got potential, but need rewriting.
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